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Transition from casual dating to relationship

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Let’s talk about what a relationship actually is, since the majority of people blindly want, crave and chase the idea of having a relationship and yet, very few actually understand some essential points about what a relationship is…

A relationship is not a possession, like a stone or a purse or a car. A relationship is simply the interaction you’re having with that person as it’s happening and the general, overall tone of your interactions. Society doesn’t see relationships this way, for the most part. Relationships are living and experienced in-the-moment, like music. If it’s sitting on your MP3 player and you’re not playing it, then it is simply data.

So if the “music” of your relationship is a bitter, hateful ballad of pain and inner suffering… MORE: 5 Signs He’s Not the One When you fixate on a relationship, you are choking the joy out of your own experience and that negative vibe transmits into your relationship and very quickly poisons it, fatally.

Instead of your guy feeling relaxed around you, he feels pressure (like he’s afraid to offend you or upset you).

If you’re not listening to the music, you’re not experiencing music.

Yes, I realize I’m speaking in metaphors, so let me tie this up: I don’t care if you of them is not your relationship – it is simply a thought in your head, completely irrelevant to the on-going music of your relationship.

Our society tries to make relationships into a thing – a thing that can be worked on, fixed or broken. You can say you have the song or own it, but saying you have a song on your i Pod has nothing to do with your experience of the song as it’s playing.

When you’re fixated on someone, it feels more like you’re suffocating. like you must have them treat you a certain way, give you a certain relationship title, or somehow prove their commitment to you.

They observe if their connection to the other person feels like love (good) or obsession (bad).

If it feels like obsession, they drop it like it’s hot.

However, I didn’t explain the incredibly damaging toll this takes on the relationship having a chance.

QUIZ: Are You Accidentally Sabotaging Your Love Life?